Ask me why I have been out, and I shall answer “Nodoka’s boobs…”

TV Reporter: “Emperor of Britannia has gone missing… and we have some theories as to why…”

a) Died of severe lack of nutrition from eating Cheez Whiz sandwiches all day in an attempt to save for pre-order debt…

b) Got S&M spanked in school and died of extreme blood loss due to failed Economics exam… (got the minimum mark in class)

c) Has been hypnotized by the sight of Haramura Nodoka’s balloons to the point of nullifying every mental function… (most definitely likely)

d) Has gone crazy due to piling backlogs of anime…

…

So I’m back from my self-imposed (not really, but a forced self-imposition due to less important matters that became pressing needs) exodus from bloggo world, and it feels great to be free and horny once again (I blame religion classes for this). To commemorate my ascension to freedom once again, I now bring you my always demented, hopefully monthly, look at this August’s figure bonanza, which once again has been dampened by Alter’s inability to deliver their friggin’ stuff on time… (ahem, 1/7 Feito-chan)

1/8 Alpha x Omega Sheryl Nome

There was once a mechtard named Lulu, who wasted all his cash on giant bumbling robots, until one day, his urge for oil-lubricated, phallic-missile launching war freaks disappeared… and he went bonanzas on female figures capable of stripping down to their suspenders. While I am no longer interested in mechanoid junks, I did watch Macross Frontier and while most douches would say that it was far more enjoyable than Geass R2 (I beg to differ), I did enjoy it as well, though more because of the sexiness known as Sheryl Nome and less for the whiny, flat-chested walking karaoke of annoyance, Ranka Lee. Yes, if Frontier had its good points, Sheryl would be its best, which is why I pre-ordered this without regard for my financial well-being and I have never looked back. Why? Well one, it’s an Alpha x Omega work and whenever Alter and MegaHouse go on a honeymoon together, that’s always a good thing. Next would be the “strip factor.” Though it annoys me that she can’t fully reveal her assets, I guess Alter gave us a compromise with seeing her in teeny weeny suspenders that seems to verge on near Janet Jackson Super Bowl haywire bonanza, and that my folks, is always a good thing (Well, not Janet Jackson, but the haywire is…). Price is 6800 yen (not bad, considering it’s Alter-made)

1/7 Orchid Seed Shidou Mariya

Orchid Seed… The manufacturer few speak of, but is quite consistent in the quality of their releases (Puts that other name to shame… what was that again? Oh yeah, Taki). I watched Maria+Holic as well and as much as I liked the character of Mariya (if you’re uninitiated, she’s a trap), I didn’t pre-order her since she’s not really a must get character for me. That being said, her pantsu, err… underpants, can be switched and she does have that mischievous “Wanna see what’s under?” face that’s just pure brilliance. Makes me wanna look under… (NO! MUST RESIST!!! else be scarred for life…). 7400 is the price for trap pantsu.

1/8 FREEing Zange-chan

FREEing isn’t really a big name like Alter, Good Smile Company or Max Factory and I can’t really remember anything worthwhile buying from them, although this Zange-chan from Kannagi does look nice. Pose is plain as vanilla though and the skin tone doesn’t look quite right to me. Better off getting Kotobukiya’s bunny girl version instead, but I know some pussies out there would rather take the safe, more “dignified” Zange-chan than the supposedly more risque incarnation of Kannagi girl turned Hugh Hefner showgirl. Hey, it’s my opinion, but I just find that bunny to be cuter and more fondle-friendly than this uninspiring, tasteless thing. Crazy Christian maid with flirtatious behavior retails for 6800 yen.

1/8 AmiAmi Zero Miyafuji Yoshika

I wouldn’t have paid attention to this no-pan, fox helicopter girl if Saimoe didn’t affect me so much nowadays (NO! I’M NOT BITTER OVER MIO FUCKING AKIYAMA LOSING TO KANA!!! *sarcasm*) and seeing that Saimoe is basically Strike Witches breeding ground, Miyafuji Yoshika from AmiAmi Zero (yes, that AmiAmi) caught my eye immediately, not for exactly romanticist reasons, or an inherent desire to violate those furry ears and tail, but because its not everyday you see AmiAmi release their own figure, although I have seen their Kanu Unchou and it is mighty impressive for first timers. I pity them though, that Alter will release a Yoshika of their own which clearly shoves this version down to the dirt pile (ok, not quite, but imagine those revenues going away from poor ol’ AmiAmi who by the way earns more from figures than any other shop out there). Oh well, I guess no-pan, lolicons still won’t mind burning 6650 yen just to have another piece of undeveloped ass and shiny helicopter legs.

1/8 MegaHouse Aisaka Taiga

Yeah, leave it to MegaHouse to commit failures of epic proportions on their figures. The body and sword sculpt looks wonderfully done, and then, you see… THE FACE! That face is so ugly even Takasu won’t even think of marrying this Kugimiya-hell spawn. Now I’ve had several MegaHouse figures already and they are pretty accurate in their sculpts, which makes me even more puzzled as to which deranged idiot MegaHouse decided to hire for this one. It’s absolutely horrible and devoid of any facial redeeming factor. MegaHouse just lost the Taiga battle to Wave’s delicious School Festival one and they know it, I know it, every fucking idiot in this world knows it. I do hope you don’t flush 6800 yen down the proverbial toilet bowl spending on this inhuman mutation. Good lord…

Since most of the supposed August figure bombshells apparently got delayed… AGAIN, it became a surprisingly bland and boring month for figures, making October the hot ticket of the year. Who got delayed? Well, there’s 1/7 Good Smile Company Saber Lily (whose bootleg counterpart has already been spread like a virus about to hit peons around the globe), 1/8 Good Smile Company Black Rock Shooter, 1/7 Alter Fate T. Harlaown -Shin Sonic Form- and some others I probably forgot due to my hands going numb at the preposterous amount of figure pre-orders that has crippled my impulse buying power. Alter Mio Akiyama’s pre-orders just came up here (that’s how freakin’ lame this country is) and I just committed myself to more pain… which reminds me that my GSC Moka still hasn’t arrived… If someone can adopt me away from this country, please do so… :(

Related posts:

1. Alter’s October Wallet Raep
2. Back From the Grave…
3. Wonder Festival 2009 Summer
4. Finally Nitro+, Finally
5. Figures Sales