Domo~, Ruri desu~! I’ve some sad news to announce – this’ll be the last monthly summary post ever. :( Daddy says there’s no need anymore for such posts since he never sticks by what he wants to do in the previews for the next month anyway, and there seems to be almost no point anymore as well for such posts. I’m not sure if I’ll get chances to post in the future as well, but I sure hope so! Daddy hasn’t been in a good mood lately though, so I’d best not ask him now. Anyway, for this final monthly summary, I hope I do a good job and thank all of you for reading those I’ve done! ^_^
Blog Tech
Again, like last month, Daddy didn’t make a post for the theme, which was Felicious February. Nothing notable was done for this month in terms of the blog, but Daddy did finally update his blogroll, added one or two header images (there’re so many now! >_<) and he says he’s still looking for writers, particularly focus-specific people in certain categories now, and female writers too. So if you think you’re interested in helping him write (see his personal message at the end of this post regarding why) and want to, leave him a message using the Contact page. ^_^
He also posted January’s traffic stats for the blog, and revealed my elder sister, Sirius! ^_^ He recently reopened an old idea of his, a forum called the BP HPG, and talked about his take on the differences and interactions between blogs and forums.
Girl of the Month
The Girl of the Month was Furude Rika from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, written up once again by guest writer Kona-san! Daddy seems to no longer want to do such monthly features anymore…
Figure of the Month
…because he didn’t even bother doing the Figure of the Month…I’m not sure if he wants to pass this to another guest writer yet, or make do with what he calls “lousy pictures with a lousy compact”. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, but things don’t look promising right now. >_<
Song of the Week
Daddy finally did something for the Song of the Week! Though it won’t be consistent, at least this category still gets some care from time to time. ^_^ Here are the songs he managed to write on.
Kokoro by Joanne Hogg (Xenosaga Episode I)
Ai no Tame ni by Sakakibara Yui (Nagasarete Airantou)
Anime
And Daddy continues with his episodics, as well as thoughts on anime, for the first time in this blog’s history for such a long period of time. I guess he truly now gravitates more towards anime than just figures and the culture. ^_^ The Asu no Yoichi! episodics continue, though his Kemono no Souja Erin’s episodics are on hold until he watches a certain version’s he says, and he’ll from now on just do his impressions on the show since it’ll be like “everyone has already seen it by the time I post about them”.
Asu no Yoichi! 04 – Meganekko Chihaya
Asu no Yoichi! 05 – A Date with Ibuki
Asu no Yoichi! 06 – Manly Love
Asu no Yoichi! 07 – For Ze Fanservice
Only 1 episodic was done for his collaborative blogging with Chong-san and Yamcha-kun for the series Sora wo Kakeru Shoujo, that of episode 7, but Daddy also took a closer look at the series in his thoughts on it so far up to episode 7. Finally, Daddy caught an old movie called Perfect Blue and compared it another more recent incarnation of the genre, Chaos;Head, in his writeup on both.
Figures
More was done by the other guest writers this month for this area, which Daddy’s thankful for. First up though is his look at the new GSC Akashiya Moka which he preordered for June, with a tinge of sarcasm besides. Then he opened a new category for his new interest, dollfies! His first post though is just about the dollfies he saw through pictures thus far, and nothing else has really been written.
YuKi-To-kun then breaks his one month of written hiatus with a review of Gift’s Saber, then Daddy talks about finding out another figure late, that of Kenshi-san. Tourak-kun cuts through the norm with a post on figure sales by Toylet, and finally Daddy ends the month’s figure talk with a look at AOU2009’s figures that’ll be prizes for games such as UFO Catcher.
Multimedia & Music
Though it’s difficult for Daddy to find a category for it, D’s post on Doctor McNinja’s webcomics finally placed itself under Multimedia. Then YuKi-To-kun looked at White Album’s ED, Maiochiru Yuki no You ni by one of Daddy’s favorite Japanese singers, Suara, before Kona-san reviewed Kimi no Suki na Uta.
Philosophy
Early February was also a sad time for Daddy, as his close friend of 9 years Wong Ziyu passed away at the tender age of just nearly 23. Rest in peace, Ziyu-kun. As of this post, it has been exactly 3 weeks since he has passed on.
Also, Daddy later talked about a psychologically frightening dream he had that distorted his view of reality and dreams when it happened.
And that ends my part and the final monthly summary. There isn’t a preview because Daddy told me not to do it, but there’s a personal message below from him. I guess this means I don’t really know when my next post’ll be. >_< Thanks for reading!
瑠璃
Personal Message from Panther
I have gotten the feeling lately that people have stopped caring. Heck, even I myself get this same feeling of not wanting to care anymore. Why do I bother to work so hard for a blog that does not help me do anything except invite hatred? Or write about things that no one wants to read about? Even with the few that do (thanks people, I really appreciate your comments), I get this general feeling that I really either have no more actual readers (screw the page views I get more image views than anything else, so it is hardly a consideration as to how much this blog is really being read) or that my writing is seriously screwed up. I am inclined to believe that both are happening, with the second being a causal factor of the first.
Other than that, I really do want to take a look at my studies and see just how fast I can proceed. If all goes as planned, I am looking to complete it by December 2010…if even that. If I want to do that, that means something has got to give. And has this blog given me any actual reward? I really do not want to answer that question, because if I were to be absolutely truthful, I do not think it has.
I still want to write of course, especially my views on many things, but unlike most of the established anime blogs in the blogosphere, or those of the culture, I am not a good writer of editorials or such on anime. Worse, I have lost all inspiration and ability in writing even essays or articles that I am supposed to be able to do for academic purposes. Is there a point in writing anymore if you know you lost what was supposedly your strongest and only known good point?
I am tired, mentally and emotionally so by the retardedness I see everywhere nowadays, even in my own IRC channel. I keep getting the feeling that people are out to get at me for some reason or other subtly, and I see it in almost everywhere I go, even in real life. Call me paranoid, but being a loner all my life has made me so. Yes, I am a sad f*ck if you choose to think that way. I will not stop you from thinking that since you are free to think what you want.
Finally, I doubt if I can stick by what I want to do whenever I do my monthly previews, so I might as well give up on those. I might even relinquish Figure of the Month to either YuKi-To or Tourak considering they might have better chances to get better shots than my piece-of-shit compact (which, even if it were good, I can never be satisfied with its final quality, since I am such a perfectionist).
I have no idea what you readers come back for now. I no longer know how to write, that is a fact. Yet I still want to do so. If you can stick up with what I call “written pieces of shit”, then yeah. Like I said I now prefer writers who can focus on specific stuff, especially figures, to write for me in those areas. Maybe I will post from time to time on interesting figures, but I feel my passion for even that burning out. This year I am not even interested in more than 80% of the figures out, and for those that I do want, I simply sit back and think, “Do I really want them?” Someone recently did, for no good reason, a jibe at me saying that I was ordering and spending money so much in times of economic recession. His lines were along “but I see this going to no good end so I will stop”.
So, if you were going to stop, why even start in the first place? Want to pick a fight with me, just say so. Further, at that time, I mentioned that I already toned down a lot of my preorders from last year, and he said, “You just said you were ordering some.” Those were preorders, I said, they were made some time ago and by inference, with good planning. But did he care? Hell no.
In any case, Team Blue itself is pissing me off. I no longer see the appreciation, the camaraderie, the effort. I only see fragmented pieces of monologues, intersecting conversations, and crossing paths of individuals. There is no more “big picture”, there are only the jigsaw puzzle pieces that nobody cares to pick up and assemble. I am done with my time. I got better ways to spend it than on some community that puts on a front for show. If there is anything in this world I truly hate, it is putting on a show just for the sake of it. Hell yeah, I am ranting. And I know no one will read this anyway, but who cares? For the first time since I started blogging, maybe I truly am expressing myself.
Cheerios folks. From now on my posts are going to be few and far between, and pretty much nothing of much interest or well-written material. Count on it. Thanks for reading my blog all this time, but the side of me I never wanted or cared to show must now no longer hide itself in the shadow of doubt, because I can no longer hold it back among the gates of hate.
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Banneret on 
Poor Panther… I’m still reading it, you know?
It’s sad you disbanding TeamBlue, as it’s written in the IRC chat, when I alsmost-just joined it. But at the same time I understand what you mean. I really don’t know personally more than the half of our group! It’s still sad though.
I hope you will be content with your decision.
Gargron’s last post: Upcoming KK forums theme
I agree with Gargron. It is so sad to see Team Blue like this, especially when it wasn’t that long ago when I joined. I owe a lot to Team Blue, considering how I’ve met a lot of interesting people. :(
7’s last post: Clannad~After Story – Episode 20: Family curse or what?
@Deathseeker: Whoa. I never expected this. I knew u held a more jaded perspective than most. But to walk away because of what other people thought, I never thought so. Sometimes, it seemed u enjoyed the madness, lol. Then again, I’m not in your shoes. Though I can definitely relate to the feeling of being sick-and-tired of it all. Maybe it’s simply time for a well-deserved vacation from your blog and blogging responsibilities. A time to get a fresh outlook. To find a new spark. Until then, good luck dude. Peace. You’ve earned it. ^_~
Dude, go take a break or something, you clearly need some diversion on the things you’ve been doing almost daily. Everyone reaches this ’sick and tired of this shit’ kinda of feeling at one point of time, it’s common.
Overwhelm by studies and real life issues? Tackle on those 1st, I know that this blog is your passion and forming TB is something you want to do to achieve something great which had not been done in the blogging circle. But as we all know, real life still comes 1st, nothing is more important than that. Like what I said above, take a break.
Also I doubt anyone is out here to get you, trolls and flamers are just part of the internet. Learn how to engage them in a matter that they won’t even bother you anymore or better yet, change their point of view on you. It’ won’t be easy but doesn’t mean impossible.
And lastly, if you think you had failed in someway or somehow and do really want to disband TB I won’t stop you. But it’s this TB channel that I get to know more people from the community and it’s like a domino effect, I’m knowing more and more people. I’m not those type of people who goes around and making friends easily like a salesman. I’m not those talkative type who can engage in a conversation easily. I failed in that aspect as a person and it’s one of my resolution this year to improve which I’ve never mentioned in my blog. Seriously in the past, my EQ sucks. Been sucks doesn’t mean that I have no right to improve on my weakness and be a better person as a whole.
Famous people who had succeeded all failed many times before, but they learned from their mistakes and move on, that’s what makes them what they are today. Well. so far this gonna be my longest comment ever lol. Not sure if it may help but these are my experiences with life so far for the past 30 years. Just want to say it again, take a cheer and cheer up. :)
Blurmage’s last post: Doesn’t this bring back memories?
yea, like blurmage said, everyone and everything may reach this certain stage. Do take a break and please do concentrate on your studies first ^^; since that’s what you want.
I myself have much more pre-orders then currently owned. Who cares about spending more during the recession, its gonna get worse and probably figure prices will soar as time passes. Buy while you can! =P
About TB, awesome job so far Panther in managing such a community. I think it’s inevitable that TB has become what you think, as the community grows, this is bound to happen. Doesn’t it always happen in any community? Be it friends, teams, groups, they will always reach such a stage. In the end, what makes the community continue to strive? I don’t think I can answer this but, simply as long as the community still exists, we will still come back to it. My best friends have gone to different schools, has different hobbies, their own desires and passion. Hence we are able meet up much less, (i.e. seen as less effort, camraderie & appreciation) but we do still stay as a community of best friends. I dont know if I’m making sense, but well, u get the idea ^^;
I dont think TB community is just for show, our recent gatherings is proof of that. It is harder for TB members in the other regions to meet up, but there might be a chance for them. As most of the guys have said, do take a break, Panther.
ps. I think I will be concentrating on figure posts, though my figure preferences are very different from yours ^^;
Just a suggestion, for figure of the month, I think you should only do them when you find a figure worth mentioning, no need every month. So maybe change the name to figure highlights 2009 part 1 or something.
To me blogging is never for people to read, if anyone reads i consider it a bonus. also you must be suffering from the figurine purchase burn out. you buy too much too often i think.
In any case, relax and chill dude
ps : i can take you on anytime you punk. :P abs of steel ain’t enough to face my fist of steel.. hahhahahahha
pp’s last post: 010309 loots
I was wondering how u were able to do this on a daily basis. Even though I knew it was your passion to keep this blog updated daily, this must have been hitting on your daily life and like you said, you gotta give up something to gain something else.
In this scenario, a good long break is what u need. I, myself take time off away from my blog to catch up on real life situation and enjoy the stuff where I got no one but myself to gain. Study is the No.1 priority. What happens there could determine the future of your career.
Optic’s last post: Been Busy and Lazy
Gargron: That was a joke by Shin when someone inadvertently asked something in the channel, and Shin gave that reply. I felt it was fitting for a topic was all, but I have yet to actually say anything else regarding the subject.
7: Nothing is for certain at this point in time.
Jayman: Thanks. As for me being jaded, probably not. I would perhaps be less described as being jaded than most other people, in fact. There are many things I am unhappy about, and dislike in this world, I just do not feel like voicing them out because I doubt it will do any good. As for me going away from blogging, I am going to continue, just lesser, and I am going to drop other responsibilities that I feel I no longer have the energy to, or the passion to bother about. As for enjoyment, maybe when it first all started, I used to enjoy it. Not anymore.
BlurMage: Thanks for your encouragement, but even my real life is in a sort of shambles and I am going nowhere. One thing I never mentioned, I am lost as to where to go in this world that I know I am not meant for. A break is not what I need, maybe more a change of reality. If I were to enjoy a vacation, I would prefer one that I never wake up from.
YuKi-To: You can say that about Team Blue because you met locals. But how can I say the same about others in other countries who have little or no chances of meeting others than through online means? I mentioned this a few times before – I always felt guilty helping locals to arrange outings and gatherings and seeing others in other countries who wished they could join in such events. I really want them to, like us, be able to, but it remains that unless we have actually seen the vastness of some countries, we will not realize just how difficult it is for others, such as in the USA or Europe, to meet up on even rare occasions. Further, there are those that I felt joined up just for show, you just have not seen how their lack of response and lack of interaction have made me feel.
As for the Figure of the Month, I want it to continue being a part of this blog’s integral aspects, like the Girl of the Month, so I am afraid I have to reject that notion.
PP: Not really “suffering” from figure purchase burnout insomuch as there are few figures that I want. At least I still do want them, but I get to be more picky and choosy and hopefully save up on purchases that way. As for the fist of steel, gawd. You weigh much more than me dude. Even if I knew martial arts (which I was interested in and which a few friends of mine even in Team Blue are in) I would still have to use quite a bit to take you down. :p I just train to keep fit anyway.
Optic: I never bothered about a career. Look at the world nowadays – what is a job but a dreary pile of the routine? That is one of the things that I consistently hate about society and the world today. Yet to hate the very core of essence of such in the world is to make the world deny your existence and for you to falter behind everyone else. It is seriously something that I am very bitter over. A long break is not what I need, like I mentioned above – a change of reality and a change in society is more like it.
Panther, learn to face the reality, escaping from it doesn’t help really. Been lost as on what to do for the future doesn’t give you the excuse to not to do anything about it. Take note human always learn from their own/other’s mistakes, life goes on. Mentally we must be strong to counter whatever shit that is thrown at us. Everyone will go through this process at one point of their life.
As for foreign members of TB, I think they will understand the limitation of the things that can be done. I bet many of us wanted to meet those oversea too. It’ll just take time since most of the core members are still students. Thanks to the internet we are still able to interact with one another on irc, as long the passion of otakuism never dies, there’s always a chance.
As for the career part, I bet to differ. To me, doing something you like and enjoy isn’t work at all. Doing something you don’t like just to earn a living is a routine. You choose your own path, think wisely. Don’t follow the mistake I did in the past since I took the 2nd route. It’ll be a long and painful process to correct it in the later part of life, something which I am doing now.
Blurmage’s last post: Doesn’t this bring back memories?
Blurmage: Escaping from it and not doing anything about it? Then why am I even bothering to study if that was truly what I was doing? Mentally strong to counter whatever shit that comes at us? Try going through it since you were freaking 6-7 years of age until now and tell me the same thing.
Understanding the limitation of things and always seeing others being able to do what you cannot are two different things. Do you think everyone outside of SG in Team Blue understands as well? You are generalizing there.
Doing something I like and enjoy truly is not work, and I know that as well. The problem is, I have no idea what I like to do…or wait, let me rephrase that. I know what I want to do…this world just will never provide me with the opportunity to do what I want to do. I already know the routine path, and I want to get away from it, but there is not even a question of “Can I?” because what I want to do requires the world to fall into disorder.
TP: Thank you but suffering from a quarter-life crisis is not exactly my point right now. I would have been suffering since I was young, if you put it that way, since as I grew up, I grew disenchanted and started thinking that I really could not do what I wanted and that I would be thrown into the meritocratic society that no longer goes back to its own ideals. Further, though I can understand the economy’s crash having actually done a little economics before, I doubt it has much of a bearing on my current situation since I always hated it. As for exploring my capabilities, I had been increasingly alarmed by the on-going accumulation of discoveries that I have none whatsoever. You make a good point from not expecting any high things, but my social background and upbringing probably does not subconsciously allow me the chance to do that.
Blowfish: I think the one thing most people seem to misunderstand is that I seem to think there are no readers here or that I am expecting something out of my blog. I should have made it clearer that rather, I am disillusioned with the world and my writing. I know full well that a blog can only have as much readers as the content is interesting to read about and relevant to their interests, and that people will always be searching more for images (ie. blogs get more hits thanks to images) than to content, most of the time. As for taking a break people are still mistaking that – I am taking a break yes from Team Blue, but not from my blog. Rather, I will just be, from now on, blogging only to truly express myself instead of the past formula I have been following, where I talked less about my own feelings and writing up on issues that have almost nothing to do with anime and the culture.
As for people discussing and stuff, I suppose I can use the HPG as a further extension of that by making threads for the posts I do that require discussion, because a blog for me does not enhance the type of exchange that I would believe is good for such posts. You are wrong in thinking that it does not help people along in life – in a world full of dogmatism, there is only left the idealism to assist people through. Are we to continue guiding missiles and misguiding men as Martin Luther King, Jr. suggested, allowing technology to take over our lives and minds, or do we want to have a spiritual, psychological and philosophical uplift from the dreariness of this world steeped in practicality?
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only few people out there that isn’t suffering from some form of quarter-life crisis or sorts…
Panther,
There’s going to be a lot of hiccups in life, and you’ll gonna encounter lemons. We are not the only ones that are finding it rough. Plenty of things in life can give us lemons…
I think it’s best you concentrate on your studies, given that your educational pursuits are different from the usual norms. If you can excel well in that pursuit, it’ll augur with your finding a career.
The way I see now, the world is in a loss of what to do in the wake of the collapse of the Wall Street driven economy. Capitalism unchecked resulted in the current climate, the fall of communism showed the pitfalls of socialism, and there seems to be a resurgence in the traditional way of doing business (bartering, Venetian banking etc.). “Free trade” as espoused by Singaporeans are going to be a thing in the past: “Fair Trade” is now the emerging trend.
But that’s just my opinion. For now, take one step at a time. By the end of things, you’re supposed to explore your capabilities, and behind each endeavour, we can learn something from it, even in this blogging exercise of yours.
I think you should really take some breather. Continue with what you’re doing, but don’t expect any high things from it. Naturally readers will pull to you via your personal touch, and that’s where the empathy comes in.
These are the times where I wish to be able to write something useful…
A Blog should always be a part-time activity,something you do for fun.I dont expect to get anything as a reward for doing something for my personal pleasure.
I know that you wish to write meaningful posts and hope to get people thinking and discussing.The reality is that this is really hard to accomplish over the anonymity of the internet.Most comments wont get you further on your path through life.I think sticking to local people for this matters will be much more rewarding for you.
Whatever it is…Dont push yourself now too much.Maybe its time for you to take a break and start again from ground zero.
I cant see into your mind and Im not really good at interpreting peoples actions so i might be completley wrong.
You definately achieved something with the founding of TB
Blowfish’s last post: Back to School
Me and my big mouth ):
Oh wow, a loli for girl of the month? Sugoi choice desu yo, aniki.
Shin: Open your eyes, I am not the one that wrote this post. -_-